Unpredictability!

Words that come into my mind about Harry at the moment are....
Angry, confused, emotional, sensitive, frustrated, fragile, sad!
One second happy the next minute sad. Something that brought a smile to his face one second could bring complete oversensitiveness and frustration the next.

I don't know what the trigger is to setting him off or what I can do that will bring him joy? He is so unpredictable, it is scary to be around him. He hits his head, he screams, he slams doors, pushes his brother over, hits what ever is around (luckily he does not hit people) he threatens and cries.

I know I shouldn't take things personally, but it is hard when all I do is open my mouth to offer support and he starts screaming that he hates me. Like what happened outside yesterday...

Harry and Thomas were playing really nicely (laughing and not pushing each others buttons) outside together, they had been wrestling, swinging, digging in the dirt and playing with cars. Thomas lost a matchbox car in the rockwall, so Harry tried to help, he ran up stairs and got his flashlight, when he came back down stairs he came running out the patio and said I have my flashlight, Thomas started walking over towards him and before anything was said, he threw it on the hard patio out of some type of anger or frustration (not sure what happened as no one had said anything) The flashlight shattered and then Harry starts saying "Dam, I am so stupid!" He runs over to the clubhouse and starts crying his eyes out. A very upset and sad cry. I asked him if he was OK? He got up (still crying) walked over to his flashlight and held the broken pieces out to me, he said nothing at first as he was still crying and then he said again "I'm so stupid". I said, can I help you fix it? On that note, he went screaming inside saying "I hate you mom, your so frustrating me!" then "I'm going to go find a new mom!"

What do I do? I am completely confused, all I wanted to do was help. As I sit here typing this, all I can think is maybe I need to ask him what we should do, instead of asking him if I can fix the problem? I will try this next time to see how that goes...will post!

So after all the drama that took place with the flashlight, I gave him some space, after about 30mins I went upstairs to see what he was up to? He was very quiet and honestly I was a little scared for his safety, was he hurting himself? had he really run off?
Thank god he was just sitting in his bedroom playing with Lego, as I walked in, it startled him and he accidentally broke something off of his ship, oh no I thought, is this the next trigger for a meltdown? But no, all he said was "Oops! that goes on here!" I was relieved but once again completely confused.

How can we even try and help him academically at the moment when we are finding it so hard to cope with his emotions and behavior.

Dave tried to read with him last night at bedtime and the result of that was more screaming, tears and Harry running into my room screaming I want my mom! When all Dave did was ask "come on Harry its time to read!" They had not even read a word yet.

Its like we are falling backwards with his development, barley keeping our heads above water!